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Recent Articles
Money Matters
Money is one of the most sensitive topics in our society. People would rather talk about almost any other topic than have to disclose how much they make in a year. There is a lot of debate about how couples should share their finances with their partner and financial...
![[VIDEO] DR. Quistad – Religious Abuse & Spiritual Manipulation](https://i1.wp.com/optimumjoyclinicalcounseling.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/New-Hires-2.png?resize=400%2C250&ssl=1)
[VIDEO] DR. Quistad – Religious Abuse & Spiritual Manipulation
Dr. Anna Quistad (called Dr. Q around these parts), joins Optimum Joy founder Alexandra Hoerr to discuss the complexities of religious abuse and spiritual manipulation in church contexts. Dr. Quistad focused her doctoral dissertation on the complex trauma which...
Checking My Privilege
I remember when I first encountered my privilege. I was sitting in a sociology class when a professor who didn’t normally teach the class walked in. He began to talk about patriarchy and the privilege of being a man. He was passionate about the topic and I couldn’t...
Radical Acceptance and the Invitation to Mourn
Growing up with a mother as a pastoral care minister who now works as a hospice chaplain, I have heard endless stories about loss, grief, and suffering. She has described grief to be like the natural disaster of a tornado, whether large or small, it changes the...
The Freedom of Saying ‘No’
If you’re anything like me, a ‘yes’ is much quicker to roll off my tongue than a ‘no’. Often, I regret that response if I haven’t had a chance to really think about what I need and what my limits are. This leaves me spending way too much mental and emotional energy...
Core Values and Secure Identity
What are core values? Businesses have them. Non-profit organizations have them. You find them marketed at leadership conferences. Core values drive decisions, unite groups, and clarify a company’s brand. You have them too, whether you are aware of them or not. Have...
Good Goals
sGoals are something that therapists talk about often. Goals for yourself, for the future, for relationships… In and outside of therapy, many of us are constantly setting goals (whether we’re aware of it, or not). One of the classic guidelines for goal-setting is to...
Codependency and Living Your Own Life – Part 1
Are you a people pleaser? Do you go out of your way to make others happy at the expense of your own well-being? Are you so preoccupied with and caught up in another person’s life and problems that you have difficulty identifying your own values, thoughts, beliefs,...
How to Use Your Partners Love Languages
A common tool used in couple therapy is the five love languages. Many people have heard of them before, but I have found that not many couples know how to truly use them in their marriage. The real point of knowing your partner’s love language is to be able to show...
Accepting the Things I Cannot Change
Even if you have never been to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, it is likely that you have heard the AA serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” I...